Not much to write about today. Jesus did say I was going to betray him though. Not sure what that was about.

You know that hat that the pope has? If you push that down and twist it, candy comes out.

Jesus stole this joke from me today and he told it to this girl I like, right in front of me!

Granted, I stole the joke from Sean Lock, but still; he’s starting to get to me.

Was at the grocery store with Jesus today and while I was getting milk I saw him in the fruit section, fondling bananas. Weirder and weirder, what have I gotten myself into?

Sales have gone drastically up for our geeky little store since its slow beginning. Being in charge of inventory, I try to stay on top of which new books, comics, board games and popular geek culture accessories we should take in or not. It’s a task fitting for me.

Today we even got our own cleaning lady, pretty awesome news. I think her name was Ellie, but we all agreed we were probably just going to call her Consuela. Sadly though, she’s not Hispanic.

 

Asked Jesus about the noises last night and while I didn’t really get a direct answer, he mentioned something about a musical project he was working on. Yeah, I have no clue what the heck he was doing armpit farts for, but I’ll just ignore this. I have other things to focus on.

I can’t sleep tonight, there are strange noises coming from Jesus’s room. It’s a very odd noise; I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s faint, I have definitely heard it before and for some reason I’m smirking. But what the hell is he doing? And why now in the middle of the night – wait - is he practicing armpit farts? Oh my god, is this really happening?

Alright, well he just yelled at me through the wall not to take his father’s name in vain. I’m done, logging off for a fap.

I don’t want to write about work today. Not much to write about. However, the Grammys were last night and I spent most of this evening discussing it with Jesus.

As for me, I am pretty satisfied with this year’s award show. Out of the categories I care about, I only felt two went wrong. Wanted Jack White to get some more love and the Journey soundtrack should have won. Other than that, I’m all good.

Jesus on the other hand, was pissed off. He wanted Hunter Hayes to win all his nominations. He got none. I have to say, I don’t have too many complaints about country music’s answer to Justin Bieber not getting a win, but still, he’s quite a charming guy and has way more talent than Bieber himself. He also looks a lot like Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones, which would make any fan want to punch this guy.

We were both pretty disappointed there weren’t any big controversies this year. They are always a blast. Chris Brown did try to deliver again as usual though, but he didn’t go all out this year. Very disappointing, yet it felt good to see Frank Ocean win over him.

Going to listen to The Black Keys tonight, not too impressed yet so I guess they need to grow on me.

Another quiet day at work today, we only made a handful of sales. We keep saying word of mouth is going to get us customers, but I’ve got my doubts. I’d say we’re soon making some changes, but who knows.

Spent last night with Jesus though, that was definitely interesting. We had tacos and watched Life of Brian. He actually admitted that the first time he spoke to the gathering of people; he screwed up and actually said “Blessed are the cheesemakers”. Pretty sure he’s just pulling my leg.

Not sure yet what to think of him though. First off, he smokes weed, that’s just a bad habit. Secondly, he’s apparently into black metal. This is unacceptable.

Hopefully my good taste will rub off on him.

Dear Diary

My name is Jeff, I am 22 years old and I run a small retail store with a few friends.

Today is February 8^th; we had our grand opening one week ago. Disappointing so far, but let’s stay optimistic.

I live in the city, renting a pretty neat apartment on the top floor with a pretty sweet view. It’s been only a few days since I moved from my old flat to this new place, as I decided to move in with this guy my older brother knew who was looking for a roommate. So I now share this place with a flat mate, and I was pretty open to the idea, it seemed fun.

I guess I still have to warm up to this guy though, I didn’t really know much about him other than the teachings of Christianity and the things my brother told me. But so far he seems okay, though he has a pretty weird name; Jesus. And he’s the son of God. So I guess he has that going for him.

He’s attending the nearby university, where as far as I know yet, he only has art classes. I’ll know more by tonight, it’s the first time we’ll hang out. I’m making tacos.

Never been much of a diary or journal guy, but I’m going to try to stick with it.