I can’t sleep tonight, there are strange noises coming from Jesus’s room. It’s a very odd noise; I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s faint, I have definitely heard it before and for some reason I’m smirking. But what the hell is he doing? And why now in the middle of the night – wait - is he practicing armpit farts? Oh my god, is this really happening?

Alright, well he just yelled at me through the wall not to take his father’s name in vain. I’m done, logging off for a fap.