Alright, was I ready for another wacky day with the J-man’s crazy antics? No, I was not.

Stayed up a bit too late last night and woke up early afternoon. Walking into the living room, I found none other than John Travolta duct taped to a chair. Several months ago I would have freaked out, but today, I barely flinched. The J-man is corrupting my brain, as he has done too many over the years. I hope I don’t end up as Andy Dick did. I’d never forgive Jesus.

I was about to pull of the tape covering his mouth when Jesus walked in on me, carrying a copy of Battlefield Earth and wearing his usual “My Little Pony” t-shirt. I proceeded to ask him why Travolta was here, trying to cope with how his drug addled mind worked. 

“I’m curing this man of insanity.” That was his entire reply. He merely asked me to leave a couple of minutes later. He seemed to be setting up a projector of some kind. I could only imagine what he was about to do, maybe some Clockwork Orange scenario. 

Before I left, I tried to explain that this man was not insane, but the J-man ignored me and once again sent me for the door. Out in the hall I noticed a lot of other things not supposed to be there. Among them a dreadlock wig, Viagra pills, the Necronomicon, a brightly colored jumpsuit and Tom Cruise. I quickly asked him for an autograph and was out the door.

When I returned not long ago, everything seemed to be back to normal here. I checked the entire place and I only found something that might be bloodstains on the bathtub floor, but I’m not sure about that. Checking the news, I found some articles about how photos of a ragged Cruise returning to his home had surfaced. Found nothing on Travolta though, but I guess no one cares. Might check that bathtub again though.