Jesus trolled me today. He came into the living room and stood before me, blocking the TV. He then put a small button controller in my lap and said “This button destroys the entire universe. I’m going to my dad for the weekend, see you Sunday.” OH MY GOD. He’s an evil genius.

I put the button on the table beside me and return my attention to the TV. Every now and then I would glance at the controller beside me, sweat forming above my brows before swiftly shifting my eyes back. This asshole is not going to get to me.